Worth

What have I done during my life?

Is it useful for others? Or nothing is done.

Is there any specific thing that others can’t do but me?

Is there any matter for this world if I was not being here, or even if I weren’t born?

What is the purpose of my being here in this world, or particularly in my family, my working place or my friends?

Will my big family have a different situation and condition without my existence?

Will my working place stop the operational or can’t achieve their profits if I were not working there?

Will my friends loose their cheerful days just because I was not with them?

Am I a lovely daughter for my parents?

Am I a suitable helper for my spouse?

Am I a perfect staff for my working place?

Am I a good listener for my friends?

Do I have something that others don’t have, only me?

Do I have something important and significant for this earth to have me as one of her inhabitant?                 

I am only one of millions people in this world

I am only an ordinary woman in my city

Please oh please….

Give me one reason only, why I was created in this world..

Give me one explanation why I am counted as a worth one..

Can I stand up and say loudly: “I am useful for others, aren’t I?”

1st anniversary of JOYFUL CHERIE

It’s already one year after this blog made for the first time by a lovely friend. Many personal experiences and ideas have been shared here, based on the daily activities and things happened in my life. Though, they were all struggling written in my capacity as an amateur writer.

My friend told me to be consistent in writing, otherwise he would be disappointed.
Because making a new blog is easy, but maintaining the existing one is more difficult.

JOYFUL CHERIE reflects happiness and sadness, emotions, mood, the changes of life, and many others. Even the difficulty to express the moods is shared here.

One year is not a long time. It is just a beginning.
I promise to myself to be more productive in writing and sharing my ideas of life.
For me this blog is like a signature of our friendship. Though I and my friend will not have an intense contact anymore someday, I will make this JOYFUL CHERIE as a memoir for us.

My dear JONATHAN

My dear son

You are still on my mind

Deep inside my heart

Every moment of my life

Always thinking ‘bout you

Remembering you

Jewel of mine

Over 10years ago

Never forget

All our togetherness inside my womb

The eight months of your presence

Hold you tightly

And you are playing there in heaven

Now and forever

(written for my beloved son who passed away 10years ago right on Valentine’s day – 14February 2002)

 

 

Just Another Story about Rie and Amm

Do you still remember Rie who was happened to have a close friend name Amm, but was left without any notice. (read the previous story A short story about Rie and Amm)

This time, Rie has already grown up and became a lovely teen. She has a lot of friends and activities. No more lonely time for her. She was pretty busy to notice that her childhood friend: Amm, who has left her previous years ago, was now living near her again. He has moved back to the same house for years.
Since, both of them were full of activities, they have not met each other. Amm has also not contacted Rie yet.

Until one Sunday morning, Rie was walking to the market built replacing the rose park where she used to play before. Surprisingly, she saw Amm standing near the door. She was very happy to see him after years of confusing for being left. She hurriedly ran approaching him and shouted his name excitedly, “AMM”. On the contrary, Amm seemed not as excited as Rie. He only nodded his head and said, ”Hi Rie, what were you doing here?”
Rie was rather disappointed with the reaction. She gradually changed her excited voice and answered him bitterly, “Just have a monthly shopping, Amm”. “Where have you been along these years?”  While she was asking those questions, all of a sudden, Amm said, “Okey Rie, I ought to leave you now. I had something important to do”. And he left her hurriedly.

Rie was not able to watch Amm walking away. She was really upset. She cancelled her plan to go to the market, and directly went back to her house with thousand unexplained questions in her mind.
“Did I do something wrong to him? Were my words hurt him? What was my fault to him?”
Many more questions kept buzzing her and made her crying.

She became very sad. After these years of lonely time, when finally she could manage to put Amm aside, this short reunion and the presence of him caused her sadness even deeper than before.
She was crying silently in her bed until falling asleep. Then she dreamt about Amm.

She imagined her previous childhood time when Amm was still very kind to her. She could remember all the happiness that emerged when they were playing together. 

How Amm assisted her when she was in a trouble, how he cared about her. All the cheerfulness of her life because of Amm, were all being played in her dream. She was smiling in her sleep.

Suddenly she was awakened, and she realized that she was only dreaming. The smiling face was altered into a very gloomy one.

Rie still could not admit how Amm could leave her with no reasonable explanation. And this morning coincident meeting with him made her more confuse and hurt much worst. How Amm reacted to her as if she has never been so closed to him.

However Rie was a very tough and sturdy girl.

She decided to forget about all the sadness she had. She tried to erase the bitter feeling for she has also ever passed her life for years without the presence of Amm.
She increased her activities more and more. She met a lot of new friends.
Next time when she passed Amm’s house, she didn’t expect much to meet him. His presence meant no more special for her. Her life would not be stopped just because of Amm’s leaving.
Life must go on normally.

And Rie decided to keep the previous short togetherness’ memories with Amm forever.